The Journey

I Talk To Automated Voices

It just occurred to me that something I do may be fairly unique in the world at large.  It might not be, either, so if you want to weigh in on this, feel free—I’d be interested to hear what you have to say.

I talk to automated voices—you know, you’re standing at the ATM and it says, “Thank you” for whatever it says that for.  I look directly at the camera lens and say, “You’re welcome.”  When I’m checking out in the self-serve line, the machine always thanks me for shopping at Fred Meyer.  I always tell it, “You’re welcome.”  Oh, and when I call some company and they tell me how important I am to them and beg me to wait for the next available operator, I thank them, just as if it was someone telling me she was going to do something nice for me.

The other day when I did that I suddenly wondered why it is that I do it.  I didn’t come up with an answer to that question but I did realize something else.  I feel better when I do that.  When I walk away from that machine I feel almost as good as when I walk away from a person I’ve just had a positive exchange with.  I found that to be very interesting.  After all, isn’t it the person I’m talking to who causes me to feel better?  Isn’t their positive response to my words that causes me to feel more suffused with joy than before the conversation began?

Apparently not.  From my experience with automated voices, both standing in front of machines or listening to them on the phone, the experience of feeling better appears to be a direct result of my attitude rather than that of the person to whom I’m talking.  How wild is that? 

This all goes back to the concept that we create our own reality—that life is what we believe it to be.  This appears to be something I can point to and see as just one more bit of evidence that it is true.

Where else can I put this into action?  I already talk to my cat (by the way, she really does talk back some of the time).  Actually, there are lots of inanimate objects I can interact with.  Come to think of it, I always encourage my computer and printer to have good days and thank them for doing their jobs so efficiently.  When I see a particularly lovely flower I’ll say something like, “aren’t you beautiful.”

I confess: I also talk to myself.  This gets even more interesting.  I’m going to have to start paying attention to what I say to myself because if I can actually make myself feel better simply by talking nicely to myself, how cool would that be?  In the past I’ve been quite critical of myself and I have wanted to be a bit kinder.  Perhaps this is just the kick in the ass I needed for that to happen.

If you’re not already doing this, give it a try—see what happens.  After all, if it actually causes us to feel better, how awful could it be?

Where I Am and What I'm Doing

I’m still journeying like crazy—changing my direction on a regular basis.  I think that may be the best part about journeys, discovering the different side roads that pop up along the way.  I think I’m beginning to be more comfortable with that and, instead of stopping writing here just because my journey is shifting and I don’t want you to know how “flaky” I am in my changes, I may attempt to share a bit more about those shifts.

There may be too much that has gone on since my last post to catch you up but that’s fine.  You can have more highlights (just as you did last time I wrote) and I’ll do a bit better in the future—well, perhaps, perhaps not.  You will at least have links to my other two active blogs and you can pop in there periodically to see what else is going on in my life if you are so inclined.

I had decided that since photography had become a passion that I should leap into finding a way to make it pay for itself.  I started a blog, had all these plans for the book I would write, the paid subscription site I would have, teleseminars, newsletter, the works.  Good grief!  As a result, the blog was just a “teaser” to get people interested enough to want to get the newsletter where they could actually see photos, take the teleseminars where I could promote the paid stuff, and then make lots of money.  DUH!  Not the best plan but not a huge problem.  I pretty much stopped writing the blog (I had a bunch of stuff already written that I could plug in for future postings so it won’t look like I stopped writing) and I’m changing the focus of the site to make it more about what I’m photographing right now and a couple of the photos I took regarding what I’m talking about and leave it at that.  If for some strange reason I should develop a following, I’ll think about some of the money-making ideas then, not now.

I also went on a women’s retreat and took a writing seminar while I was there and go all excited about “writing my story” again.  For years and years (at least 30) people have been telling me I should write my story.  I’d start and then not be able to figure out what to do with it and think I had to sit down and write the whole thing all at once.  OK, that obviously wasn’t working because I didn’t have anything written for a very long time.  Now I’m writing approximately a page a day (though some days the blogging counts as writing but I try to do something more in line with writing my story.

Finally, one day I was searching for something on Google and came across a blog called the simple dollar and while I was reading it I realized that this guy was brilliant with financial stuff but not so great with household money saving stuff—well, great with some of it but not much.  Suddenly I had a shift in my thinking about my frugality blog.  First of all I had been talking simply about cutting grocery bills in half.  It occurred to me one day that the whole thing, the blog and the book I actually wrote about that subject, were all about scarcity and not abundance and I’m all about abundance these days.  I stopped writing completely and shelved the book (which needs a major overhaul anyway because I foolishly put prices in there and they’ve all nearly doubled in the two years since I wrote it).  Anyway, it suddenly occurred to me that what I do and what I believe in terms of frugality AND what I could share with others is simplicity of living, sustainability, and ecological living.  Much of this has to do with living a more frugal life—living the simple life to cut back on our carbon footprint and all that.  So, that blog is active again.  The only thing I’m not thrilled with is that I called the blog “Cut Your Grocery Bills in Half” so the URL reflects that name but I’ve changed the name of it to “Abundantly Frugal.”  If I change the URL, I lose links and photos.  I haven’t decided how I want to deal with that.  I’ll figure it out later.  For now, it is what it is.

There I am in a nutshell.  Feel free to check out the other two blogs: Abundantly Frugal and Did I Take That Photo?

Enjoy and look for me to be here just a little more often—maybe.

The More Things Change the More they Stay the Same

My whole focus on what's going on with my journey has taken yet another turn--several, in fact.  Here's the Readers' Digest version:

• I'm not moving to Seattle in the very near future.  I'm still moving there but not, perhaps, until I retire and can move into senior housing that's actually in the Market.
• I'm become addicted to photography and can't seem to get enough of it.
• I've discovered I actually do have a passion.
• I'm in complete transition and it's just fine with me.

For years I've been hearing, "follow your bliss," "do what you love and the money will follow," "take the Passion Test so you can do what is your heart's desire."  All well and good but I didn't feel like I had a passion.  Sure, I love to write but it's something I enjoy, not a passion.  The same is true for knitting, quilting, being a Virtual Assistant, spiritual growth, cooking, well, pretty much everything in my life. 

It was actually pretty depressing to have all these people telling me I needed to discover my passion and go after that when I couldn't seem to find it.

Lynne, my coach, said that some people don't have a single passion, that they simply have a passion for living life to its fullest (my apologies to you, Lynne, if that wasn't quite what you said).  That was nice--an easy out--but not exactly what I wanted to hear.  I wanted to know what I was passionate about so I could do all those wonderful things people kept talking about.

I found it!  It's photography!  Imagine that!  Here's the interesting part.  A friend got me interested.  I had no idea this was something I'd even like let alone love.

In fact, if you go back to my blog of September 29th, you'll see where I said photography wasn't a passion.  Well, back then it wasn't.

Isn't this all so very exciting?  I don't think it really changes anything all that much--it may in the future but for now I think things are pretty much the same except that I live for the days I can go out and take more photos and then get them developed so I can see the beauty of what I photographed live on in my work.  It's a very special feeling.

That's it for now.

Until next time...

It's Been a Long Time Getting From There To Here

I had my cursor in the box where I'm supposed to put the title and nothing would come to me.  First of all, did I want to address my very long absence or not--to tell the truth, I'm getting tired of telling people why I haven't written in so long and I suspect you're just as tired of hearing about it.  So, if I didn't want to make excuses, what did I want to call what I want to write about--ah, actually, knowing what I want to write about might be a good thing to know first.  You can see where this is going--no clue!  As I was sitting there letting all these things slide through my brain, the line from a song I don't remember the name of came to me and it was perfect.  Suddenly I had not only the title of the blog, I knew where I was going to start writing--once I got past telling you about the title of the blog :-).  By the way, I remembered what it came from--the theme from Star Trek: Enterprise.

My growth process is getting me from there to here as well and even though it seems like it's taking a long time, I remember how long it took to get where I was a couple of years ago and how relatively short a time period it took to get so much further.

My current "crisis" is going to Los Angeles to meet my virtual co-workers and my Virtual Assistant buddy.  I decided this would be a good time to start being concerned about how people might judge me because of my appearance. 

There are two things to be said about that:

1. These are my friends and they like me for who I am, not how I look, and
2. If they don't, it's their problem, not mine.

The reality is, that's not how it feels right now.  As a result, I have taken steps to make sure I make the best impression I can make.  Of course I'll be getting a haircut and much facial waxing.  I also bought bras that were custom fitted and DON'T have  underwires.  (What a fabulous experience that was!)  I also ordered a pattern of slacks and an amazing, flowing jacket that is short in the front and long in the back that has several different ways it can be worn--impossible to explain but very cool looking.

I've found a seamstress who can make clothing for me at a reasonable cost and she told me she could make the outfit in a week.  I ordered the pattern and knew I would have well over a week for her to finish it.  I bought the fabric and notions last night (I won't even tell you how much I spent for it) and took it all over to her only to find out she was going to be leaving on Monday to be on vacation for a month!  What the.....? 

I went back to the fabric store and asked if they knew of anyone else who could make it for me.  They gave me one card of someone and the location of another.  I immediately drove to the one for which I had the location.  She had just recovered from surgery and had too much work to catch up with to do anything else right now.  I called the number for the other one and left a message with a child.  I love children.  I don't trust their ability to take a readable message and, if they do that, to actually deliver it.  When I hadn't heard from her by afternoon today, I called again.  This time I left a message on a machine.  I was much more confident I would get a return call.

Between the time I left the message and the time I heard back from her, I decided I was going to have the outfit come hell or high water!  I do know how to sew, after all.  I was just farming it out because my fibromyalgia makes it very challenging for me to do a whole lot more than work and I've been doing a whole lot more than work lately.  I still knew I really could do this if I put my mind to it (and as much energy as I could muster). 

It was truly a liberating feeling to take control of this whole thing.

I didn't tell you how this all came about.  I was going to do that in this post but I started typing and this is what came out.  I'm hopeful I'll be writing more in the coming weeks, though it's probably best not to have that expectation, and I can tell you all about what's been going on in my life and how it's affecting my journey.

Until next time...

The Astonishing Power of Emotions

Shoot!  It occurs to me that I added this book to my reading list but haven't mentioned a thing about it to you!  Silly me.

I got turned on to this book by, the now nearly famous, Lynne Morrell, client, coach, friend, and generally amazing woman.  Anyway, she asked if I had read it and I immediately went to my favorite bookstore and purchased it.

I took it with me on my vacation and read about half of it.  I might have been tempted to read the whole thing but there was so much really good stuff that I wanted to let each day's reading to settle a little before I went on to read more.

I'm at a loss to tell you what it's about in one or two paragraphs so I'll just say that it has provided me with a way to listen to what is happening inside and decide if I'm working with or against my true inner self and then ways to help me move to more "downstream" thoughts that help me not have to "row upstream" against my current of discovery and fulfillment.

I think it might be a book that has to be experienced  rather than talked about.  Amazon has sample pages to look at.  I've recommended other Esther and Jerry Hicks books and this one may be the best, though I say that about each one I read so I'm not sure if it's actually the best or just exactly what my spirit needs at that moment.

Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll love it.

Anything Can Happen

I watched a television show the other night on which they based an entire promotion on what one customer had said--"Anything can happen."  Isn't that just the truth?

So, here I am, watching this show and the only things I'm actually thinking about are the things that have happened to me when I've been in that "Anything Can Happen" mode.  Of course that led to thinking about when those moments were and how I could replicate them because some really cool things happened.

I'm not sure but I think it was when I just let go and listened to my heart rather than my brain.  It's kind of like the 12 Step thing that says, "Let Go and Let God."  I'd probably rewrite it to say "Let the Universe Take the Wheel" or something but I think it's the same basic concept.

What I haven't figured out is how to consistently live in that space so it flows like I know it can.  Maybe that's the whole journey--trying to figure it out.  OK, part of the journey

Nice, meaty mind food for a dreary rainy day, isn't it?

Birthdays and Wish Lists

You will know from my earlier post that it's my birthday--yes, thank you, absolutely lovely.

Well, I got a gift from my daughter that I simply have to tell you about.  She told me a package was coming and that it was a birthday gift and I should wait to open it on by birthday if I wanted it to be a true birthday present.  I know, I know, I have no little kid left in me at all because I waiting to open it until today.  (OK, not true about the little kid--I just love the whole anticipation thing.)

If you take a look back a few days you'll see an update on my Wish List post in which one of the things I wanted was cool stuff for my photography.  My daughter got me a very cool, very high-quality tripod!  It's amazing! She's amazing! 

OK, I think I'm going to go play with my new toy.

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!

Don't you love birthdays?  I do.  I get to have other people tell me how cool I am--a bunch of them--all on one day--or even over 2 or 3 days if I play my cards right.  Oh, and speaking of cards, I got those, too.  What fun!

    So, happy birthday to me!!!  I love how I can feel like I'm in my mid-20's when I turn 57 at 9:45 tonight--oops, that's 7:45 Pacific time.  I talk to a lot of people who are all upset that they're getting "old."  I'm not thrilled with the physical aspects of it but I'm getting a total kick out of the benefits of it.  People actually treat me nicer than they did when I was 30--they hold doors for me and sometimes even offer to carry things for me.  I like that.

    I get senior discounts at a few places already.  I get it at the bread store and I got it at a buffet I went to a couple of weeks ago.  The older I get, the more places will honor me with discounts.

    I get to become more comfortable in my own skin.  I can actually remember a time when I sat in my living room with the phone on my leg, calling everyone I knew because I was desperately lonely.  No one was home except a woman I had called a friend and I discovered that the only reason I was there was to be the person she could talk to when she needed to talk.  She couldn't handle it when I needed her.  How sad it was back then.  Now I can't even imagine feeling either lonely or bored.  There's just too much to do and too many friends I just haven't met yet. 

    At 17, 27, or 37 it never would have occurred to me to start up casual conversations with people I'd never met before.  I do that all the time, now.  I talk to people at the hairdresser, in the grocery store, going for a walk, everywhere.  It's fun!  I sometimes learn so fun stuff, sometimes I think maybe we both feel a little better because we talked to one another.

    Yes, I like being 57.  Have a scoop of ice cream in celebration of my birthday (I like ice cream better than cake).

    One more time!  Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!

Wish List Update

    Here I am, asking people to make a wish list and I'm still thinking what a good idea it would be--sheesh, no wonder I never had one before--I keep thinking what a good idea it is rather than write one.  So, here's the very beginning of my wish list:

• World peace (yes, I know, every aspiring Miss America in the history of the pageant would be proud of me but there's a reason they all say that's what they want--because it's what they want--so do I)
• Perfect health--that one's pretty self-explanatory
• A place to call my own.  Yes, I have an apartment that's all mine (and my cat's) but I don't feel like it's truly mine.  I've lived in places I rented that felt like they were mine--this one doesn't feel that way, though I really do like it more and more.  Actually, while I'm wishing, I want a condo.  I actually want a loft--not the things they call lofts with 4 or 5 rooms in them--that's not a loft, that's an apartment with tall ceilings.  I want one big, huge open space with gigantic windows, brick walls--at least one brick wall anyway, exposed ceiling beams and ductwork, and a funky hardwood floor that still shows where the old giant machines were bolted to the floor.  It would be lovely if it were within a few blocks of Pike Place Market, too.
• Independence from working to earn money.  I'd like to be able to do whatever I want whether it pays me or not.
• More time with my family
• A Prius
• A cruise to Alaska on a small ship (a photography tour might be nice)
• A totally cool camera
• Gear to go with the camera (tripod, lenses, and such)
• Being in the flow on a regular basis
• Lots of good books to read (OK, I have that now but I still want it on my wish list.  I really love books.
• A month every year in a cabin in the woods where I can be alone and quiet.
• Dinner at a totally cool restaurant once a month

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Someone sent me one of those things that floats around the email circuit forever.  This one was one of the good ones (it didn't even tell me that I would grow warts with hair growing out of them if I didn't email this to 200 people in the next 10 minutes).  At any rate, here's the synopsis of the thing I received.

    A passenger in a taxi sees a car leap out from its parking place so close to the front of the cab that she was certain they were going to
    hit the offending car.  The cab driver was very alert and was able to slam on the breaks fast enough to avoid and accident by inches.  The driver of the offending vehicle opened his window and yelled and gestured obsenities at the taxi driver who simply smiled and waved and went about his business.  Of course the passenger was amazed at that and asked why he would do such a thing. 

    (Here's the really good part.)  Here's what the cab driver told her:
    Many people are like garbage trucks.
    They run around full of garbage, full of frustration,
    full of anger, and full of disappointment.
    As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it.
    And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.
    When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally.
    You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
    You'll be happy you did.

    I love it!  How Abraham it is to do this--the way I see it, it's totally downstream thinking.  Want more information, see The Astonishing Power of Emotions