The Journey

Should I be Amish?

3/20/07

I recently had the opportunity to watch an Amish family being interviewed.  For those of you who don’t know about the Amish, very VERY briefly, They don’t use electricity or have running water, don’t drive cars—generally they separate themselves from the world as we know it.  They sometimes refer to themselves as “plain.”  By all means, if you are not familiar with the Amish, they are a very interesting group of people to read about and a Google search will turn up tons of info (or Wikipedia). 

Anyway, during the interview the husband was asked if there wasn’t some modern convenience he would like.  Here’s the whole reason for telling you all the rest of this.  He said he had noticed, from his trips to town and reading the newspaper, that it appeared the more modern conveniences we got, the busier we were.  I silently protested—NO, I don’t work nearly as hard as that Amish wife.  I don’t grow and can my food, hang clothes on the line, iron everything I wear.  I don’t heat water for dishes and bathing.  Then, of course, I stepped back for a moment and remembered something my father once told me about hard physical labor.  Dad grew up on a farm and started out his adult life as a farmer before trading in the plow for the bakery and food service ovens.  Anyway, he said you sleep well at night and you aren’t mentally weary.  He said a lot more time was spend in thought—gentle, contemplative thought—than we currently spend. 

That, of course, led me to other thoughts of my own.  I trade gardening time for work time.  I trade knitting time for movie time.  I’m busy all the time.  It’s just that my business is different than that of an Amish family.

I can’t portray, here, the sense of peace and serenity I saw in the faces of both the man and woman in that interview.  What I know is that I want more of that in my life.  I suspect meditation is in my future—my near future.  It’s not that I don’t want to meditate—it’s that I tell myself I don’t have the time.  Somehow I suspect that’s not really the truth.  Actually, I know it’s not the truth.  The only reason I don’t have time is because I’m too busy watching movies, talking to people on the phone, visiting with my neighbors, just being busy letting my mind run rampant. 

Since I’m not going to hang up my computer cables and go back to nature, I think I’ll do the little stuff I can do to make my world a little more stress-free.  As with so many things I write about, I’ll try to keep you updated on how this works for me.  Uh, don’t think this is going to happen very quickly.  I’m really doing a whole lot of other stuff right now and that might take a little while to get going.

Remember Uri Geller?

3/3/07

I don’t know why I thought of this but as I was writing about my car and how she failed to start I remembered a night over 30 years ago when I saw Uri Geller on the Tonight Show (Johnny Carson was the host back then).  Uri came on and held spoons and forks between his thumb and forefinger and they bent.  He did other stuff, too, but I don’t remember what it was.  What I remember was that at one point he looked directly into the camera, at all of us watching him on television and told us to go to some electrical thing we had in our house that wasn’t working.  He said if we had a television set or washing machine—whatever it was, go over to it and put our hands on it.  He talked about thinking hard and carefully walked us through some very positive affirmation-line things and then told us to see if that thing was working.

I had a stereo that hadn’t worked for months.  I didn’t have a radio because that wasn’t working.  It wasn’t that I really missed it all that much but there were times when it would have been nice to listen to the radio and I just hated to throw it out.  It was also a record player (remember, this was 30 years ago) and I think it might even have been a cassette player.  It had a couple of fairly largish speakers, and had cost well over $100.  That was a lot of money 30 years ago.  Anyway, I did as I was told.  I put my hands on the stereo, said whatever I was supposed to say and thought hard—very, very hard—about wanting it to work.  When he said to see if it worked, I turned it on and it worked.  I swear, I had tried to get that thing to work for months.  Every once in a while I would turn it on just to make sure I hadn’t imagined that it wouldn’t work any more.  It worked now. 

I wasn’t quite ready to believe that I had the power to create my own reality but it was the first thing that ever happened that let that little crack of light shine on my belief system.  It was the thing that has allowed me to go further and further until now I know that I can manifest whatever I believe I can have.  Pretty amazing, isn’t it?  Thanks, Uri.

What You Put Out is What You Get Back

3/3/07

The Bible says, “What ye sow, so shall ye reap.”  See?  It’s all there—all this stuff so many people talk about as New Age is ancient.

I digress (I’m good at that).  Yesterday I had a whine-fest about my fears—today my car won’t start.  Oh, I know, I’m not being punished for “bad” thoughts and I also know my car has at least as many physical challenges as I have but it seemed a little more than a coincidence that I spent WAY too much time yesterday being afraid.

Right now I’m waiting for my amazingly generous neighbor to take me to the grocery and auto parts stores.  I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people around me.  I’m so grateful for each of them.

Pain is an Amazing Thing

written 3/6/06

I talked to a friend today about pain.  She was talking about this amazing stuff she’s been taking that has been a true miracle in her life.  She has a condition that was causing her to experience constant pain.  I could spend an entire post talking about the relative levels of pain—I had some interesting emotional discoveries about that while she and I were talking—but this is about something else. 

OK, so she has been taking this really cool stuff (natural, non-prescription stuff) and she is pain-free.  That’s very wonderful but the part that made me need to take a walk to think about stuff was the next part.  She said something about how she thought she would be able to do more because she is now able to start putting thoughts together.  She talked about how she has been able to work and do things but when she was trying to do it through the pain, it didn’t work the way she knows it used to.

It made perfect sense when she talked about it.  What started occurring to me after we talked about how amazing it is that she’s feeling so much better is that I’ve been kicking myself around the block because I’m not functioning as well as I do when I’m not in pain.  Good grief!  It was so clear when I talked to someone else who has been experiencing it.  I’ll be the first to say that her pain was much more intense than mine.  I have no doubt that means she had to work much harder than I do to accomplish everything she does in her life but it still means I’m working harder than I used to. 

I’m not sure why I’m having so much trouble writing this but I am.  I set this aside for a couple of hours and I think I may know what’s happening.  I hate to admit this, even to myself, but I think it’s because I feel I shouldn’t succumb to the same human frailties everyone else does.  When I write it out that sounds patently ridiculous but I recognize it from past experience.  I figure I should be able to do just about everything I attempt the first time I try it—I should be able to understand whatever I read—I should be able to….. never mind, you get it.  I expect perfection.  What I can’t quite figure out is who I think I’m trying to kid—I’m no more perfect than the rest of the world.

Yet another bit of work to be done to make this whole journey thing make a real difference in my life.

Minimum Daily Requirement of Hugs

written 3/5/07

I was talking to a friend the other day and realized I don’t have enough physical contact in my life.  I had jokingly said something about the minimum daily requirement for hugs and she hadn’t heard of that before so she asked if that was true.  I explained that it was said laughingly but that we really do need more physical contact than most solo people get. 

Here’s the part I hadn’t really thought about until I said it to her.  It just started growing as I was talking and it occurred to me later that it was not only true but one of those little life lessons I have been getting lately. 

What I said to her went something like this:

“Yes, we all need a certain amount of physical touch to feel our best.  You know how you feel after you’ve spent a few hours with your grandchildren?  You feel all warm and fuzzy and filled with love for the world?  Sure, part of it is because they’re your grandchildren but I believe part of it is that it’s because we have contact with other human beings we don’t get most of the time.  I get that same kind of warmth and good feeling even when the children I play with aren’t my grandchildren.”

I said more to her and it was a little like the following but I’ve had time to think more about it since then. 

Sure, kids are warm and cuddly and fun to play with so why wouldn’t we feel better after we have been around them?  That’s true but I think it’s also true that most of don’t have that kind of physical contact with other adults.  I may only be speaking for those of us who aren’t in physical relationships but how many of us spend that much time snuggling, cuddling, holding, and kissing on another adult?  Even when I was in a physical relationship we didn’t spend as much time in close physical contact as we tend to when we have children around.  Sure, there’s the obvious sexual contact but when you think about it, don’t you feel better then, too?

Bottom line(s)—we truly need more physical contact with other human beings and we don’t know enough adults we can snuggle and cuddle with.

I once had the idea to try to volunteer at a day care center—just be there at the end of the day (I was working at a regular job at the time and couldn’t take any day-time to volunteer) but they never called me back.  I don’t know why and don’t want to speculate but thinks aren’t the same as they once were where volunteers are concerned.

I don’t know if there’s a point to this or not.  I was just sitting here trying to figure out how to end this.  Did I want to say I was going to try to find ways to have more physical contact with people?  Did I want to say it was an interesting observation and have a commentary on modern life?  What was the point I was making?  I think this is one of those things that I just say what I observed for me and we each get to come up with our own reflections on it.  I’d love to hear yours!  I’ll let you know if I come up with any brilliant (or not-so-brilliant) thoughts on the subject. 

As always, thanks for listening!

More about Walking

I know you read about my walking stuff yesterday but I actually wrote it a long time ago.  I was thinking about the walking I've been doing.  Yesterday I walked quite a bit and I felt pretty darned good!  I walked 1/4 mile going around the circle in my house (that was early in the morning, before I was even showered and dressed for the day).  Then I walked to the pharmacy--about 1/2 mile.  Then I went shopping.  I walked all over KMart, then Petco (both big stores and I had to go all the way to the back of each of them), then the grocery store which means not only walking to the back of the store but walking front to back several times.  I'm confident that's well over a mile.

Here's the very best part.  I didn't feel worn to a frazzle.  I could have walked up to the post office or done more shopping.  I could have done lots of stuff and that was the very most important thing.  I was feeling good.  I think I'm almost ready for Chicago--well, at least in the walking department.  I'm still working on the anxiety stuff.  What in the world is that about? 

Thanks for going on this journey with me.  I feel so much more motivated to examine things when I have you here listening to me.  Enjoy!

Walking--Lots and lots of Walking

3/29/07

Walking, walking, walking.  Earlier this month I wrote about my whine-fest and most of it centered around not being able to walk comfortably.  I blamed it on my fibromyalgia.  OK, probably a relatively legitimate reason for feeling less than stellar in the walking arena, and the arthritis probably contributes to it as well (at least the arthritis in the knees), but shortly after writing that (I didn’t actually post it then but I wrote about it) I had a session with my coach and told her I was going to Chicago on April 18th and I was afraid I was not only going to have difficulty getting around the conference but that I wouldn’t be able to go sightseeing in Chicago.  I was going all the way there, spending a couple hundred extra dollars to stay an extra day to see Chicago and I didn’t know if I would be able to walk far enough to be able to enjoy it.  I wasn’t even sure I would have enough energy to go sightseeing at all.  This was terrifying to me.  She, being the brilliant woman she is, said that I didn’t have to go out and walk 2 miles a day to get ready for the trip.  She said that any movement I do now that I didn’t do yesterday is good—very, very good.  We talked about what I would do if it was raining outside (remember, I live near Seattle—it rains a lot in the winter).  I told her my apartment is set up so I can walk from the living room, through the kitchen, down the hall, and back into the living room.  Perfect!  I can walk around in circles.  I did that the first day because it was wet and yucky outside and about half a dozen times around the circle it occurred to me I had no way to quantify what I was doing.  I’m big on quantification.  I want to know how far I’ve gone.  I don’t have to try to walk a certain amount or beat yesterday’s amount or anything like that but there’s something about knowing how far I’ve walked that makes me feel better. 

I walked around the circle and counted my steps.  I know approximately how long my pace is and I multiplied it out.  Then I calculated how many times around I had to go to make a mile.  It was really pretty cool.  I’ve told a couple of people about it and they think I’m nuts.  They talk about how boring it must be.  I just smile and say it works for me.  I don’t point out how it can’t be any more boring than a treadmill or any of those other things like that.  Anyway, I now walk a half mile to a little over a mile every day and every once in a while I go even further.  Just last Saturday I took the ferry to Seattle (you’ll hear more about that another time) and I was running a little late.  It’s .85 miles from my house to the ferry and I had 25 minutes to get there (well, 30 but I didn’t want to count on cutting it that close).  I started out and moved along at a pretty fair clip.  I was a little winded when I got there but I made it in just under 20 minutes—just a couple of weeks before I couldn’t go half a mile without having to rest three times.  I have to tell you—I was impressed.

Now that the weather is getting a little better I want to spend more time outside walking and less time walking around in circles but it’s good to know I can still get in 1/8 of a mile while my coffee is brewing in the morning or walk ¼ mile while on the phone with a friend. 

Next step—yoga!

Chicago Trip Update

I went to the fabric store and got the fabric I needed to get all my jackets made but I didn't get the buttons--too many choices and I didn't have enough of the fabric with me to make that kind of decision.  I also didn't cut anything out last night--still thinking I should pre-wash the fabric and that means ironing all of it--we're talking 20 yards or so of fabric--that's a lot of ironing.  I did get the trip to the fabric store done, though, and that felt pretty darned good. 

Today I bought my suitcase.  It was quite satisfying to find one that meets all the needs I have and do it in 10 minutes or less. 

I also bought make-up.  Oh, you may not know me at all so you need to understand that I never use anything on my face--I mean that quite literally.  I don't even have a "facial cleansing routine."  When I think about it I give my face a swipe with my soapy hands while shampooing my hair but most of the time it just give it a good scrub with the damp towel that was wrapped around my wet hair.  (I said I'd be honest here so this is it--I've only admitted this to two or three people before.) 

The second part of this is that I don't look in the mirror.  I might have mentioned this before but in case I didn't--I don't look in the mirror.  My coach asked, "What about when you're brushing your teeth?"  Nope.  The medicine cabinet door is open when I do that and that's the only mirror in the bathroom.  That same door is also open when I brush my hair.  Here's how committed I am to not looking in a mirror--there is a full-length mirror at the end of the hallway that runs from the living room to the bedrooms, going past the kitchen, bathroom, and front door on the way.  I go down that hallway at the very least once a day to get to the bedroom at night.  The only time I've ver seen myself in that mirror is when I've been trying something on and needed to see how it looked.  That has happened exactly twice in the last year.

That's leading up to saying that I had to look in the mirror the other day and I noticed that I had those tiny red spiderweb veins on my face.  Here I am, getting ready to go to Chicago and I have spiderweb veins on my face--oh, and I have circles under my eyes.  I keep hearing that concealer is a woman's best friend (well, I hear it's a girls best friend but I haven't been one of those for well over 40 years).  So today I bought concealer and some of that mineral face powder stuff.  I spent almost half an hour on the phone with my daughter consulting on which one to get, the relative benefits of the foundation in a compact versus liquid foundation.  Did I want a compact powder or a true foundation?  What about the concealer?  Should it be in a stick or a bottle?  Good grief!  No wonder I never do this crap?  I figure I'm also going to have to invest in lipstick but I'll think about that another day.  This was sufficiently exhausting.

Oh, I suppose I should go see if the colors I picked out actually match my skin tone.  It was very hot in the car today (I'm in the Seattle area--80 degrees on April 6th--go figure) so my face was already flushed so it was pretty impossible to get an idea based on my face--I went with the wrist.  We'll see.  It may be a total waste of money but I figured I'd give it a try.  I mean, after all, how long could it take to put on a little concealer and brush on the mineral stuff--oh, and then the lipstick?  Of course my daughter tells me I now need to remove the makeup at night and wash my face again in the morning to keep from getting blemishes. 

OK, I'm just going to Chicago, not the Oscars.  I'll make my jackets.  I'll put on my three makeup items, I'll take my new suitcase.  That's IT.  I'm doing no more.  This is beginning to get ridiculous!

I'll let you know if the colors were OK.  Hmmm, do I have any facial cleanser?  I guess the bathroom sink hand soap will do for the time being.  I'm too old to start with this stuff--oh, remind me not to tell my sister--she'll tell me I need to start doing something with my hair other than washing and brushing it.

Chicago Update

I find I'm still nervous about going to Chicago.  I have three jackets to make so I can look "nicer" than "normal" and I haven't even started them yet.  I haven't even pre-washed the fabric.  This is an old pattern--if I ignore it, maybe it will go away.  It never does.

I just decided!  Rather than writing any more right now, I'm going to go to the store and get the last bit of fabric and notions I need and come home and perhaps even cut one of the jackets out!  We'll see.  It might even be fun!

A Complaint Free World

A Complaint Free World

I just saw the most amazing thing!  OK, I saw it yesterday.  It was on Oprah and I think it may have been a rerun so it's nothing new but I hadn't heard of it before so it was new to me.  Have you heard about A Complaint Free World? 

Here's the mini-scoop as I know it.  A few years ago the minister in this little church in Kansas City decided to help anyone in his congregation who wanted to help learn how to be less of a complainer.  The church bought a bunch of those plastic bracelets that look like giant rubber bands and anyone who wanted to "play the game" could have one.  They put it on and every time they complained they moved it to the other wrist. The goal was to have it on the same wrist for 21 days.  So far only 12 people have joined the 21 day club but the rest of what happened is what makes this an amazing story.

Someone heard from someone who heard from someone else and it ended up in the local newspaper.  It got picked up by the wire services and the next thing you know, the church was getting requests for the bracelets from all over the place.  They decided they would send them out FREE to anyone who asked for them.  They would accept donations but they wouldn't request money.  Here's what they say about money: "This is our gift to the world.  This is not about raising money, it's about raising consciousness.  The money will take care of itself." 

By the way, so far they have sent out over 3.5 MILLION bracelets.  How amazing is that!

Here's what that little episode on Oprah did for me--oh, and it wasn't even a whole episode--just about 10-15 minutes of one.  I started thinking about how much a complain, criticize, whine, gossip, and just generally speak negatively about any number of things.  Even without the bracelet I'm thinking about ways I can let it flow through me rather than letting it get bottled up in my throat where I end up talking about it.  I'm not saying I will never complain about anything ever again--that would be a lie--but I think there are plenty of times that I'm complaining when that isn't what I really want to do--it's just a habit.

I wonder how many other habits I have that have prevented me from having an even more fabulous life. 

Oh, on a more practical note, Oprah asked how you know if you're complaining.  Will Bowen, pastor at the Christ Church Unity, said that it has to do with intention.  He said one of the most common question he's asked is something like this.  "I'm sitting at a stop light and there's someone in front of me.  The light turns green and the fellow in the car ahead of me doesn't see it.  Is it complaining if I honk the horn?"  I loved his response.  He said it depends on how long you honk it.  He gave a couple of examples where exactly the same words were spoken but the inflection was different.  He also pointed out that if you see someone else wearing a bracelet and they complain, you need to change your bracelet to your other wrist before telling them they should because you're complaining by pointing out their complaint.  Wow!  What a challenge.  Pastor Bowen said he has found the entire congregation at his church to be happier and more fulfilled with their lives in general, just from less complaining. 

I'm going to try it.  I ordered my bracelet (and some for friends and family) and sent my donation.  If you want to do the same, just go to Christ Church Unity and place your order.  Oh, and let me know how it's going for you--don't forget to ask me how it's going for me, too, in case I forget to let you know.