written 3/6/06
I talked to a friend today about pain. She was talking about this amazing stuff she’s been taking that has been a true miracle in her life. She has a condition that was causing her to experience constant pain. I could spend an entire post talking about the relative levels of pain—I had some interesting emotional discoveries about that while she and I were talking—but this is about something else.
OK, so she has been taking this really cool stuff (natural, non-prescription stuff) and she is pain-free. That’s very wonderful but the part that made me need to take a walk to think about stuff was the next part. She said something about how she thought she would be able to do more because she is now able to start putting thoughts together. She talked about how she has been able to work and do things but when she was trying to do it through the pain, it didn’t work the way she knows it used to.
It made perfect sense when she talked about it. What started occurring to me after we talked about how amazing it is that she’s feeling so much better is that I’ve been kicking myself around the block because I’m not functioning as well as I do when I’m not in pain. Good grief! It was so clear when I talked to someone else who has been experiencing it. I’ll be the first to say that her pain was much more intense than mine. I have no doubt that means she had to work much harder than I do to accomplish everything she does in her life but it still means I’m working harder than I used to.
I’m not sure why I’m having so much trouble writing this but I am. I set this aside for a couple of hours and I think I may know what’s happening. I hate to admit this, even to myself, but I think it’s because I feel I shouldn’t succumb to the same human frailties everyone else does. When I write it out that sounds patently ridiculous but I recognize it from past experience. I figure I should be able to do just about everything I attempt the first time I try it—I should be able to understand whatever I read—I should be able to….. never mind, you get it. I expect perfection. What I can’t quite figure out is who I think I’m trying to kid—I’m no more perfect than the rest of the world.
Yet another bit of work to be done to make this whole journey thing make a real difference in my life.
Whoever this friend of yours is...I can totally relate;)
Pain...even "a small amount" is enough to slow down the ol' brain. It is such a biochemical thing.
It is also interesting that we can all be so compassionate with other folks who are hurting...and so discounting of ourselves when we are hurting!
Well...that's it for now~
Posted by: Lynne Morrell | April 12, 2007 at 06:00 AM