The Journey

Where I Am and What I'm Doing

I’m still journeying like crazy—changing my direction on a regular basis.  I think that may be the best part about journeys, discovering the different side roads that pop up along the way.  I think I’m beginning to be more comfortable with that and, instead of stopping writing here just because my journey is shifting and I don’t want you to know how “flaky” I am in my changes, I may attempt to share a bit more about those shifts.

There may be too much that has gone on since my last post to catch you up but that’s fine.  You can have more highlights (just as you did last time I wrote) and I’ll do a bit better in the future—well, perhaps, perhaps not.  You will at least have links to my other two active blogs and you can pop in there periodically to see what else is going on in my life if you are so inclined.

I had decided that since photography had become a passion that I should leap into finding a way to make it pay for itself.  I started a blog, had all these plans for the book I would write, the paid subscription site I would have, teleseminars, newsletter, the works.  Good grief!  As a result, the blog was just a “teaser” to get people interested enough to want to get the newsletter where they could actually see photos, take the teleseminars where I could promote the paid stuff, and then make lots of money.  DUH!  Not the best plan but not a huge problem.  I pretty much stopped writing the blog (I had a bunch of stuff already written that I could plug in for future postings so it won’t look like I stopped writing) and I’m changing the focus of the site to make it more about what I’m photographing right now and a couple of the photos I took regarding what I’m talking about and leave it at that.  If for some strange reason I should develop a following, I’ll think about some of the money-making ideas then, not now.

I also went on a women’s retreat and took a writing seminar while I was there and go all excited about “writing my story” again.  For years and years (at least 30) people have been telling me I should write my story.  I’d start and then not be able to figure out what to do with it and think I had to sit down and write the whole thing all at once.  OK, that obviously wasn’t working because I didn’t have anything written for a very long time.  Now I’m writing approximately a page a day (though some days the blogging counts as writing but I try to do something more in line with writing my story.

Finally, one day I was searching for something on Google and came across a blog called the simple dollar and while I was reading it I realized that this guy was brilliant with financial stuff but not so great with household money saving stuff—well, great with some of it but not much.  Suddenly I had a shift in my thinking about my frugality blog.  First of all I had been talking simply about cutting grocery bills in half.  It occurred to me one day that the whole thing, the blog and the book I actually wrote about that subject, were all about scarcity and not abundance and I’m all about abundance these days.  I stopped writing completely and shelved the book (which needs a major overhaul anyway because I foolishly put prices in there and they’ve all nearly doubled in the two years since I wrote it).  Anyway, it suddenly occurred to me that what I do and what I believe in terms of frugality AND what I could share with others is simplicity of living, sustainability, and ecological living.  Much of this has to do with living a more frugal life—living the simple life to cut back on our carbon footprint and all that.  So, that blog is active again.  The only thing I’m not thrilled with is that I called the blog “Cut Your Grocery Bills in Half” so the URL reflects that name but I’ve changed the name of it to “Abundantly Frugal.”  If I change the URL, I lose links and photos.  I haven’t decided how I want to deal with that.  I’ll figure it out later.  For now, it is what it is.

There I am in a nutshell.  Feel free to check out the other two blogs: Abundantly Frugal and Did I Take That Photo?

Enjoy and look for me to be here just a little more often—maybe.

Wish List Update

    Here I am, asking people to make a wish list and I'm still thinking what a good idea it would be--sheesh, no wonder I never had one before--I keep thinking what a good idea it is rather than write one.  So, here's the very beginning of my wish list:

• World peace (yes, I know, every aspiring Miss America in the history of the pageant would be proud of me but there's a reason they all say that's what they want--because it's what they want--so do I)
• Perfect health--that one's pretty self-explanatory
• A place to call my own.  Yes, I have an apartment that's all mine (and my cat's) but I don't feel like it's truly mine.  I've lived in places I rented that felt like they were mine--this one doesn't feel that way, though I really do like it more and more.  Actually, while I'm wishing, I want a condo.  I actually want a loft--not the things they call lofts with 4 or 5 rooms in them--that's not a loft, that's an apartment with tall ceilings.  I want one big, huge open space with gigantic windows, brick walls--at least one brick wall anyway, exposed ceiling beams and ductwork, and a funky hardwood floor that still shows where the old giant machines were bolted to the floor.  It would be lovely if it were within a few blocks of Pike Place Market, too.
• Independence from working to earn money.  I'd like to be able to do whatever I want whether it pays me or not.
• More time with my family
• A Prius
• A cruise to Alaska on a small ship (a photography tour might be nice)
• A totally cool camera
• Gear to go with the camera (tripod, lenses, and such)
• Being in the flow on a regular basis
• Lots of good books to read (OK, I have that now but I still want it on my wish list.  I really love books.
• A month every year in a cabin in the woods where I can be alone and quiet.
• Dinner at a totally cool restaurant once a month

Wishlist

Have you ever had a wish list?  I don't mean a list of what you want for Christmas or from the book store.  No, I mean a giant wish list of all the things you'd love to have in your life.  I've decided I want one.  I would love it if I could have it on a piece of paper that was like the old-fashioned parchments that were rolled up and they went on for yards.  OK, why can't I?  There are rolls of paper--somewhere--I know I've seen them.  I'll start looking.  In the meantime I'll start with a computer list because that looks like it goes on and on forever if I set it up the right way. 

Join me, won't you?  Let's make a list of all the things we truly want in life.  I believe that writing it down makes it much more likely to happen.  It somehow sends it out into the universe and ta-da--there is is--sort of.

Maybe none of that is even the point.  I just know I want a list of all the stuff in the world I want but I want it so I can be happy about all the things I find fun and exciting, not so I can feel miserable that I don't have them.  That wouldn't be any fun at all. 

Let's do it!  I might even think about putting mine somewhere you can see it--I might not.  It will depend on what's on it, you know?  I know I share a ton with you but there are some things best left private--for all our sakes. :)

I Appear to Be Back

I've been gone a long time.  What have I been doing?  Hmmm, in some ways not a lot and in others, a TON!

In case you still remember what I wrote WAY back on June 20th, I felt inspired to write this tonight.  I love it when inspiration hits.  Of course a friend asked about my blog and that brought it to the forefront of my brain and here I am.

Here's what happened with the apartment in Seattle.  (I haven't read through all the posts from back then--just hit the high points--so bear with me if you remember more than I do.

As I sit here thinking where to begin I find myself getting all tied up in time-ordered knots.  Rather than starting at the beginning, I'll start from now and work backwards sort of.

For the last two months or so my fibromyalgia has been kicking my butt!  Last month I earned just a wee bit more than rent would have been at the apartment I looked at in Seattle.  This month it was a little more but still not enough to really make it over there.  Am I glad I didn't try to move?  YES!!!!!

Another interesting thing--have I talked about bi-polar with you?  Possibly, possibly not.  For now I'll just say I've been diagnosed as bi-polar and once I started doing some research on it, some of the things I used to just shake my head over and wonder what in the world I was thinking when I did stuff started making a lot of sense. 

What does that have to do with the apartment?  I was having a minor manic episode when I thought I could go on vacation and move in the same month--and have that be just a month from when I looked at the apartment.  Good grief--get real! 

The combination of all of that has caused me to be a lot more cautious about moving right now.  I need to find out how the bi-polar is going to shake out with the meds I'm on.  I need savings to make the move and savings to help me get through a tough month or two should they pop up.  I need to figure out what I would do if I can't work enough to support myself even over here in Bremerton.  Lots of things I need to do before I can move.

What hasn't changed is knowing it's the place I need to be.  I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said she knew someone who was selling a lovely 4-year-old double wide mobile home in an adults-only park in some small town that is basically a bedroom community for Seattle.  I was so comfortable telling her how much I appreciated her thinking about me but if I can't move to where I want to be, I'm very content where I am.  I'm not moving "from."  I'm moving "to."  Wow!  That's interesting.  Most of the moves I've made over the years have been running away from something.  Very interesting.

So, there's the Seattle part of what's going on.  You'll probably be hearing more from me in the next few days/weeks.

Taking Time Off--Maybe

I've been conspicuously absent a lot lately and I'm having trouble getting back to writing.  One of the things I've been working on--"working" is not the word I'm looking for but it will do until the real one comes along.  Anyway, one of the things I'm working on right now is inspiration--what would my life look like if I were to do things because they inspired me?  One of the things it would look like is that I would blog when I was inspired to do so rather than when I felt compelled to.  I've been feeling guilty for not writing more for a while.  I'm no longer feeling guilty.  I just wanted to let you know where I've gone in case I'm not inspried for a while :-)

Vacation update

I might do something a little more in-depth after I get home from the vacation and have time to process but so far I've had lunch with my mother (went exceptionally well), the big family party that went as expected--great fun, great food, not a serious discussion in sight--spent the night at my sister's (always a very good thing), and spent a few semi-uncomfortable hours of up-close and personal time with my father (well, his wife and my step-sister were there, too, but still way too personal), and then hours and hours at the Mall of America with daughter, SIL, his two kids and my two grandkids--all good kids and lots of fun and still a little stressful just because there were so many of us and there's always a little drama with that many women in one place (three of the younger set are girls/women). 

Anyway, no crises, nothing overly dramatic, just a good family visit.  Today I get time with my daughter and SIL going to museums and shopping--always a fun thing to do.  I'm looking forward to it! 

It just occurs to me that I may have been having less fun than I could because I keep waiting for the stress--what a not fun way to spend my vacation.  I'm not quite sure how to stop having expectations--not sure if I want to--well, one more thing to ponder.

Minnesota Visit

I'm in Minnesota for the next week.  I arrived late last night and I'll be here until Wednesday. 

Just a couple of observations about this trip--first, I'm thrilled to be able to spend time with my daughter, her significant other, and my granddaughters.  I love the rest of my family, too, but it's just a little stressful to see most of the rest of them.  Actually, the only stress is around my parents.  I see my mother today for lunch (that's her idea of how we should visit when I see her once every year or two--we spend an hour together having lunch in a restaurant).  I see my father tomorrow at a family gathering--that's the best way to see him. 

My dad's kind of funny--OK, I don't see him as a funny person but the funny thing about him is that he spends all his time with me telling me all about how wonderful my sisters are and telling me what I should do to be successful.  Here's the funny part--he does the same thing with them--so, they're hearing all the good things about me and I'm hearing all the good things about them.  I still have a ton of work I'm doing to get past my feelings of inadequacy but in the meantime, it's the least stressful to see him in a big group. 

I'm really looking forward to this trip.  Mike (that's my daughter's significant other) has actually taken time off work so he can spend time with me--he likes me--I REALLY like him, too.  Hurray!

Talk to you more as the trip progresses, I hope.

Minimum Daily Requirement of Hugs

written 3/5/07

I was talking to a friend the other day and realized I don’t have enough physical contact in my life.  I had jokingly said something about the minimum daily requirement for hugs and she hadn’t heard of that before so she asked if that was true.  I explained that it was said laughingly but that we really do need more physical contact than most solo people get. 

Here’s the part I hadn’t really thought about until I said it to her.  It just started growing as I was talking and it occurred to me later that it was not only true but one of those little life lessons I have been getting lately. 

What I said to her went something like this:

“Yes, we all need a certain amount of physical touch to feel our best.  You know how you feel after you’ve spent a few hours with your grandchildren?  You feel all warm and fuzzy and filled with love for the world?  Sure, part of it is because they’re your grandchildren but I believe part of it is that it’s because we have contact with other human beings we don’t get most of the time.  I get that same kind of warmth and good feeling even when the children I play with aren’t my grandchildren.”

I said more to her and it was a little like the following but I’ve had time to think more about it since then. 

Sure, kids are warm and cuddly and fun to play with so why wouldn’t we feel better after we have been around them?  That’s true but I think it’s also true that most of don’t have that kind of physical contact with other adults.  I may only be speaking for those of us who aren’t in physical relationships but how many of us spend that much time snuggling, cuddling, holding, and kissing on another adult?  Even when I was in a physical relationship we didn’t spend as much time in close physical contact as we tend to when we have children around.  Sure, there’s the obvious sexual contact but when you think about it, don’t you feel better then, too?

Bottom line(s)—we truly need more physical contact with other human beings and we don’t know enough adults we can snuggle and cuddle with.

I once had the idea to try to volunteer at a day care center—just be there at the end of the day (I was working at a regular job at the time and couldn’t take any day-time to volunteer) but they never called me back.  I don’t know why and don’t want to speculate but thinks aren’t the same as they once were where volunteers are concerned.

I don’t know if there’s a point to this or not.  I was just sitting here trying to figure out how to end this.  Did I want to say I was going to try to find ways to have more physical contact with people?  Did I want to say it was an interesting observation and have a commentary on modern life?  What was the point I was making?  I think this is one of those things that I just say what I observed for me and we each get to come up with our own reflections on it.  I’d love to hear yours!  I’ll let you know if I come up with any brilliant (or not-so-brilliant) thoughts on the subject. 

As always, thanks for listening!

Chicago Trip Update

I went to the fabric store and got the fabric I needed to get all my jackets made but I didn't get the buttons--too many choices and I didn't have enough of the fabric with me to make that kind of decision.  I also didn't cut anything out last night--still thinking I should pre-wash the fabric and that means ironing all of it--we're talking 20 yards or so of fabric--that's a lot of ironing.  I did get the trip to the fabric store done, though, and that felt pretty darned good. 

Today I bought my suitcase.  It was quite satisfying to find one that meets all the needs I have and do it in 10 minutes or less. 

I also bought make-up.  Oh, you may not know me at all so you need to understand that I never use anything on my face--I mean that quite literally.  I don't even have a "facial cleansing routine."  When I think about it I give my face a swipe with my soapy hands while shampooing my hair but most of the time it just give it a good scrub with the damp towel that was wrapped around my wet hair.  (I said I'd be honest here so this is it--I've only admitted this to two or three people before.) 

The second part of this is that I don't look in the mirror.  I might have mentioned this before but in case I didn't--I don't look in the mirror.  My coach asked, "What about when you're brushing your teeth?"  Nope.  The medicine cabinet door is open when I do that and that's the only mirror in the bathroom.  That same door is also open when I brush my hair.  Here's how committed I am to not looking in a mirror--there is a full-length mirror at the end of the hallway that runs from the living room to the bedrooms, going past the kitchen, bathroom, and front door on the way.  I go down that hallway at the very least once a day to get to the bedroom at night.  The only time I've ver seen myself in that mirror is when I've been trying something on and needed to see how it looked.  That has happened exactly twice in the last year.

That's leading up to saying that I had to look in the mirror the other day and I noticed that I had those tiny red spiderweb veins on my face.  Here I am, getting ready to go to Chicago and I have spiderweb veins on my face--oh, and I have circles under my eyes.  I keep hearing that concealer is a woman's best friend (well, I hear it's a girls best friend but I haven't been one of those for well over 40 years).  So today I bought concealer and some of that mineral face powder stuff.  I spent almost half an hour on the phone with my daughter consulting on which one to get, the relative benefits of the foundation in a compact versus liquid foundation.  Did I want a compact powder or a true foundation?  What about the concealer?  Should it be in a stick or a bottle?  Good grief!  No wonder I never do this crap?  I figure I'm also going to have to invest in lipstick but I'll think about that another day.  This was sufficiently exhausting.

Oh, I suppose I should go see if the colors I picked out actually match my skin tone.  It was very hot in the car today (I'm in the Seattle area--80 degrees on April 6th--go figure) so my face was already flushed so it was pretty impossible to get an idea based on my face--I went with the wrist.  We'll see.  It may be a total waste of money but I figured I'd give it a try.  I mean, after all, how long could it take to put on a little concealer and brush on the mineral stuff--oh, and then the lipstick?  Of course my daughter tells me I now need to remove the makeup at night and wash my face again in the morning to keep from getting blemishes. 

OK, I'm just going to Chicago, not the Oscars.  I'll make my jackets.  I'll put on my three makeup items, I'll take my new suitcase.  That's IT.  I'm doing no more.  This is beginning to get ridiculous!

I'll let you know if the colors were OK.  Hmmm, do I have any facial cleanser?  I guess the bathroom sink hand soap will do for the time being.  I'm too old to start with this stuff--oh, remind me not to tell my sister--she'll tell me I need to start doing something with my hair other than washing and brushing it.

A Complaint Free World

A Complaint Free World

I just saw the most amazing thing!  OK, I saw it yesterday.  It was on Oprah and I think it may have been a rerun so it's nothing new but I hadn't heard of it before so it was new to me.  Have you heard about A Complaint Free World? 

Here's the mini-scoop as I know it.  A few years ago the minister in this little church in Kansas City decided to help anyone in his congregation who wanted to help learn how to be less of a complainer.  The church bought a bunch of those plastic bracelets that look like giant rubber bands and anyone who wanted to "play the game" could have one.  They put it on and every time they complained they moved it to the other wrist. The goal was to have it on the same wrist for 21 days.  So far only 12 people have joined the 21 day club but the rest of what happened is what makes this an amazing story.

Someone heard from someone who heard from someone else and it ended up in the local newspaper.  It got picked up by the wire services and the next thing you know, the church was getting requests for the bracelets from all over the place.  They decided they would send them out FREE to anyone who asked for them.  They would accept donations but they wouldn't request money.  Here's what they say about money: "This is our gift to the world.  This is not about raising money, it's about raising consciousness.  The money will take care of itself." 

By the way, so far they have sent out over 3.5 MILLION bracelets.  How amazing is that!

Here's what that little episode on Oprah did for me--oh, and it wasn't even a whole episode--just about 10-15 minutes of one.  I started thinking about how much a complain, criticize, whine, gossip, and just generally speak negatively about any number of things.  Even without the bracelet I'm thinking about ways I can let it flow through me rather than letting it get bottled up in my throat where I end up talking about it.  I'm not saying I will never complain about anything ever again--that would be a lie--but I think there are plenty of times that I'm complaining when that isn't what I really want to do--it's just a habit.

I wonder how many other habits I have that have prevented me from having an even more fabulous life. 

Oh, on a more practical note, Oprah asked how you know if you're complaining.  Will Bowen, pastor at the Christ Church Unity, said that it has to do with intention.  He said one of the most common question he's asked is something like this.  "I'm sitting at a stop light and there's someone in front of me.  The light turns green and the fellow in the car ahead of me doesn't see it.  Is it complaining if I honk the horn?"  I loved his response.  He said it depends on how long you honk it.  He gave a couple of examples where exactly the same words were spoken but the inflection was different.  He also pointed out that if you see someone else wearing a bracelet and they complain, you need to change your bracelet to your other wrist before telling them they should because you're complaining by pointing out their complaint.  Wow!  What a challenge.  Pastor Bowen said he has found the entire congregation at his church to be happier and more fulfilled with their lives in general, just from less complaining. 

I'm going to try it.  I ordered my bracelet (and some for friends and family) and sent my donation.  If you want to do the same, just go to Christ Church Unity and place your order.  Oh, and let me know how it's going for you--don't forget to ask me how it's going for me, too, in case I forget to let you know.